2019 Barfly Top Tens: Bob Short
Top Ten lists for 2019. Barman promises free rein. Let's test the limits. Top 10 questions you should want answered.
1. Was Donald Trump's 1980s application for a casino in Darling Harbour rejected because of his links to organised crime?
Answer: Yes. And very much on public record though no-one seems to remember.
2. Why was God's honest man, Scott Morrison, sacked from his position as head honcho at Tourism Australia?
Answer: Despite his prominence in the NSW Liberal Party, Scomo got dropped quicker than a turd burger in Macdonalds. Nobody is talking and sod all folk are asking.
3. What the fuck is the deal with Anthony Albanese?
Answer: Maybe he got dusted in the snap. Maybe Labor politicians need to embrace the left.
4. If Elvis faked his death, would he have died for real by now.
Answer: Statistically, it is extremely likely.
5. Why has everyone forgotten Trump was friends with Epstein.
Answer. See question 1
6. Whose bright idea was it to build a multi billion dollar maze of tunnels under Sydney's Inner West with entrances barely above sea level.
Answer. I have no answer. Brain the size of a planet...
7. Is Britain committing societal suicide?
Answer: Short Answer yes. Long answer: Replace Britain with the word England.
8. Why isn't Rupert Murdoch dead?
Answer. Surely Jerry Hall was hoping for a quick kill.
9. Why do grown men react so badly to a young woman who merely wants to try to save the world?
Answer. Emasculated by impotency.
10. Why is there no great rock and roll?
Answer: Shut your pie hole and go see Shonen Knife
Bob Short plays guitar with The Light Brigade, UK goths Blood and Roses, Dead Rabids and was a member of Sydney's first punk band, Filth. He writes for the I-94 Bar when he feels like it.