la bastard

_{Tamara and Evil Dick.  Caroline Burston photo}

In a parallel historical universe the vast southern continent now known as Australia might have been conquered by France.

While France was still a functioning monarchy at the time Captain James Cook invoked the now discredited legal fiction of Terra Nullius to claim the territory on behalf of the English throne; by the time Arthur Phillip lobbed into Botany Bay in 1788, France was starting to buckle in the face of rising bourgeois unrest, and had bigger internal fish to fry (or heads to lop, as the case may be).

Reviewers still have a hard life, don’t they? All those free CDs and free gigs and backstage perks. Not this little black duck. The free CDs arrive and, as this ain’t the day job, they bank up a tad. Because I review music because I love it, if La Bastard were merely playing soft-core mimicry to a “classic” period, with that mushy, vacant intent, you wouldn’t be reading this.

I’ve listened to “Ooh La La Bastard” (“surf-rock party animals from Melbourne, Australia!” the back cover announces) several times now. Loved it more, each time. The front cover is a rather brilliant modern pastiche of ‘50s LP artwork which makes everyone look peculiar, French, and spectacularly jaded. Lluis Fuzzhound must be some sort of genius at large. Let’s just say La Bastard live a full life, and lay it down on the disc.

It’s Coming After You EP - Thee Cha Cha Chas (Outtaspace/Hogwild)

It’s a barrage of rough and raucous rock and roll from this one-woman-one-man duo out of Melbourne. Four bracing songs on a seven-inch that sit comfortably in the garage-punk oeuvre without breaking down any barriers. Distortion and dual vocalising, done right.

Thee Cha Cha Chas are Lluis Fuzzhound (also of Intoxica and Midnight Woolf - guitar, drums and vocals) and Kylie Kooks (bass and vocals), and they’ve been carving a place on the Melbourne band scene for about five years. A big burst of touring over 2019-20 had the spreading their word further afield but with that not currently an option, this vinyl EP will do. The title track articulates these crazy times.